Well. I’ve done it all, when I first drafted my layout plan called “Tomas
Bucket List”. Don't take it wrong, Not kicking the bucket
yet, but more a life goal list, of things I must achieve before I hit 35. And trust me, I am not far away… OMG, I can’t
believe, I just said that. Well, it’s just a number, and I am making the best of it and making things happen,
is all that counts in my book. And, in my infinite wisdom, I have been sitting
here thinking all day about lessons to learn in life. Lessons I have learned in
life. You know, those things you wish you knew then, but you know now. Funny how things work!
When I started
my blog, I was in what I defined a full-on 30-Life-Crisis.
I had no idea what the hell was going on in my life, only that the life I had
dreamed of was, in fact, the life I was living, but no longer the life I
wanted. So, I did what any sane (ha!) 30ish-Life-Crisis person would do: I
ditched it. I headed to a foreign world to soak up different
languages, cultures, foods, experiences, and then, when that ended, I came
home, decided it, was total me, and I must see more of our world.
I
think today, it is safe to say while I may be hitting that 35-year-old
milestone, in a couple of more years, I’m certainly not in that head-spinning mode I
was in five years ago when I lived in a 78758 area code and was trying so
desperately to find out that one thing in
this world which would save me.
At
32, looking back, there are so many things I wish I knew at my mid 20ish. So
many things I wish I knew at 29. 25. 21. 18. Every year we get older and wiser,
but these days, I find myself just wishing I knew then what I know now. If I
could go back and bestow the lessons learned to my younger self, these would be
them:
1. You
don’t have to know what the heck you want in life from the moment you leave the
womb. You don’t even need to have a solid picture at (gasp) high school
graduation. Figure out the things you enjoy and then go from there.
This can change multiple times in life, and that is absolutely FINE.
2. A
plan is only as good as its makers. If you aren’t ready to push that plan
forward, figure out why and then decide whether or not you want to adjust the
plan or adjust you.
3. Don’t be in a relationship with someone who does not love
themselves. Likewise, love yourself. If you don’t love
yourself, the only people you will attract are those who are as broken as you.
4. Respect
yourself enough to stay away from situations where you feel uncomfortable. Set boundaries and
keep them.
5. Travel. But not to run. Travel to learn about
you. About the world. If you’re running, you will accomplish nothing but
running further away from the world you know. And deeper into your own
frustrations.
6. Try
to smile and stay positive as much as you can. No one likes a negative person
or one who constantly complains about life. Don’t be surprised when people
don’t want to be around negativity.
7. Things that make you unhappy are in your control.
Either choose to keep those things which make you unhappy in your life, or get
them the hell out.
8. Find.
Your. Niche. The rest will come.
9. You are only as good as the company you keep.
For reals. (Although this one took me a super long time to learn.)
10. Tell
the people you love that you love them, often. And hold tight to those people.
11. Be kind to animals and all other living things.
(Note: I have always been kind, now I am just more compassionate.)
12. School
is important, but those lessons you learn in life are equally, if not more,
important. So, be a student of the world.
13. Write often. About whatever you
want. Just write. (And please don’t think of it as a school assignment, because
really, who enjoys writing those?)
14. Don’t
smoke, jackass.
15. Eating
to feel better only works until you’re stuffed. Then, you are full and still
sad/angry/mad/happy.
17. Respect
your body.
18. Respect
your mind.
19. Practice being mindful and grateful every-day.
You are lucky, lucky, lucky.
20. Don’t
pretend to me impenetrable. Or perfect. Everyone has faults. Everyone has
weaknesses. And it is OK to ask for help and to receive help.
21. Let go of the preconceived notions of what being an adult is.
You don’t have to be married at 28. Have kids at 30. It’s OK to not follow a
rigid schedule. Or even have one.
22. Say “yes” to more things in life.
23. Save
money. For real.
25. Don’t
let negative comments from others ruin your day. Those ugly moments come from
another’s issues and mire that person far more than you.
26. People have their own shit going on. Remember their reactions to
you aren’t based on you necessarily, but what is going on with them.
27. Don’t take everything personally (see
26).
28. Love,
but don’t love blindly.
29. Everything happens exactly as it should. It is a part of you, a
part of your story. It is what shapes you into the person you are today. Don’t
fight it.
30. You don’t have to be like everyone else.
31. Appreciate the beauty of the world around you.
32. You
don’t have to make a lot of money to be successful. Happiness is a measure of
success with as much value (and more in my opinion) than the green in your
pocket. Although, yes, you still should have a savings account. But, that’s
just for airfare and starting exciting new stories in far off lands.
33. Ask
questions. Ask a lot of questions. About everything.
Soak up as much knowledge as you can from every person you can soak it up from.
34. Remember, not everyone is out to get you. There is good and kindness in this world,
you just have to be open to receiving it.
35. Life isn’t about living happily ever after, it’s about living.
